Think changing to flourescent bulbs might save the world? Or that ‘ethical shopping’ helps the environment? Or even that biofuels are a good thing?

WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! Get the real truth - literally in your face - with Desktop Monbiot. This revolutionary software uses your computer‘s webcam to detect when you’re feeling happy, or idealistic, or wasting time staring dreamily out of the window while the Earth plunges towards ecopocalypse.

BANG! The vociferous Guardian pundit's face looms out of your screen DOUSH! He delivers a pin-point demolishing of your most cherished illusions.

Guaranteed to leave you saggy, disillusioned and churning with impotent rage. For at least two or three minutes.